1. |
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|
Walking out of the pg13 movie
I decided that you really didn't do it for me
but then your brother pulled up in a '93 Subaru
smokin' Mavericks, baby, made me wanna be with you
You got a hotter older brother (with a tighter leather jacket!)
Hanging out in your parents' back yard
you're on the high dive trying really hard
but I hear the Misfits coming from your brother's room
sorry, gotta grab a soda, I'll be back real soon
You got a hotter older brother (with a tighter leather jacket!)
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2. |
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|
I like Jimmy the best
that kid is really something special.
|
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3. |
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|
You forgot to do the dishes
you forgot to scrub floor
You forgot who's in control here
Now I'm gonna have to lay down the law!
Wait until your father comes
Wait until your father comes
Wait until your father comes HOME!
|
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4. |
Time Out: FOREVER
01:18
|
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|
chorus:
I think I've had it up to here.
Go to your room & disappear.
Time out forever!
(forever, forever, forever, forever)
|
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5. |
I Fucked the Pool Boy
00:43
|
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|
the clothes are folded
the dishes are clean
it's time for another daquiri
(hey-ey)
the tub's been washed
the meatloaf is on
it's time for another double shot
& all my kids have grown
i've got an empty home
i felt so alone
so i fucked the pool boy
|
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6. |
Hamburger, Help-Her
01:05
|
|||
|
Hamburger Helper, please help me.
I spilled my spritzer on my recipe!
Hamburger Helper, please help me.
I spilled my spritzer on my recipe!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
|
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7. |
Good Morning, I'm Late.
00:20
|
|||
|
Good morning, I'm late.
Are you ready to have a baby?
We'll talk about it later, my dear.
I have to go to work.
|
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8. |
||||
|
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
salespaper
in my mailbox
clipping coupons
gonna be a bedroom fox
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
pinstripe
polka dot
cheetah print
why not?
bikini cut
boy shorts
french lace trim
for him
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
|
||||
9. |
Den Mother
01:58
|
|||
|
Slicing up the oranges
Packing up the minivan
Sliding up my neckerchief
Gonna get a nice tan
Man, the Scoutmaster's shorts really get me going.
Little Bobby wants to quit,
but I've got to push him.
You're going for your Eagle, buddy,
END OF DISCUSSION.
Rolling up the sleeping bags
Wanna share my bug juice?
Forgot to pack my pup tent.
At least that's my ex-cuse.
My husband's watching football
but he doesn't know the score.
I'm the chocolate
you're the marshmallow.
Now, GIMME S'MORE.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
|
||||
10. |
Pre-partum Depression
01:38
|
|||
|
After I had the first baby
I was feeling sad
Now another one's on the way
& I'm already feeling bad
I got the Pre-pre-pre partum depression
(yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I got the Pre-pre-pre partum depression
(yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I got the Pre-pre-pre partum depression
(yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
whoa!
|
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11. |
Fix the Fucking Doorbell
00:39
|
|||
12. |
Handsy Man
01:51
|
|||
13. |
Not in the Fucking Mood
01:27
|
|||
14. |
You're a Baby
01:19
|
|||
15. |
||||
16. |
||||
|
It's my cycle
It's my body
& it's my time of the month to party
Gonna howl at the moon
Gonna get real snotty
cause it's my time of the month
to party!
|
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17. |
I Love You .
00:20
|
|||
18. |
Bleach & Ammonia
01:33
|
|||
|
I've been scrubbin on my hands & knees'es
But I can't get it out! I can't get it out!
My yellow rubber gloves are ripped to pieces,
but I can't get it out! I can't get it out!
I'm gonna close the door,
bleach & ammonia
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!
Scouring pads & Comet don't cut it.
I can't get it out! I can't get it out!
I just had my mind, now where did I put it?
I can't get it out! I can't get it out!
I'm gonna close the door,
bleach & ammonia
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!
I can't get out!
I can't get out!
OUT, DAMN SPOT!
OUT, DAMN SPOT!
OUT, DAMN SPOT!
|
||||
19. |
||||
|
Date night, knife fight
For just one evening let's get along.
Date night, knife fight
You probably don't think you did anything wrong.
Rom Com Mom,
I model my life after Jennifer Aniston.
Rom Com Mom,
I model my life after Jennifer Aniston.
|
||||
20. |
Mother Daughter Cops
00:18
|
|||
|
You're not my daughter!
You're not my mother!
I really am,
but we're under cover.
We're mother daughter cops!
mother daughter cops!
mother daughter cops!
& we're gonna catch your pops,
cause we're mother daughter cops!
|
||||
21. |
||||
|
I've been scrubbing the toilet
for half an hour.
The sink's all grubby
& so is the shower,
But: break time!
Glass of wine!
I'm quiet
at the PTA meeting.
My energy is drained
& my confidence is fleeting.
But: break time!
Glass of wine!
I'm not getting any younger
I'm not getting any thinner
my husband's almost home
& I haven't started dinner,
But: break time!
Glass of wine!
|
||||
22. |
F.I.L.F.
00:44
|
|||
|
Let's get filthy!
Let's get F.I.L.F.Y!
|
||||
23. |
Mama's Night
01:15
|
|||
|
It's daddy's turn to take the kids tonight.
I'm gonna use my vibrator to unwind.
Tonight it's Mama's night.
I'll call my girlfriends on the telephone.
I'm gonna watch my favorite TV shows.
Tonight it's Mama's night.
I'm sick of helping those little dummies
with their math.
If I wanted something to love me,
I should have bought a cat.
I might not have a man to love,
but at least I have Tuesdays off.
Tonight it's Mama's night.
|
||||
The Momsters Columbia, South Carolina
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