What's Mine is Chores

by The Momsters

What's Mine is Chores cover art
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about

On Monday October Tenth, Two Thousand Eleven, two forces of good came together to create The Momsters. The 23 song album was written & recorded in one day on a 1-track tape machine.

credits

released 24 October 2011
The Band: Caroll Momster, Susie Momster, Marnie Momster, Margaret Momster, Deborah Momster, Teresa Momster, Tammy Lynn Momster, Rachel Momster, & Francine Momster

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Track Name: Hotter Older Brother (with a tighter leather jacket)
Walking out of the pg13 movie
I decided that you really didn't do it for me
but then your brother pulled up in a '93 Subaru
smokin' Mavericks, baby, made me wanna be with you

You got a hotter older brother (with a tighter leather jacket!)

Hanging out in your parents' back yard
you're on the high dive trying really hard
but I hear the Misfits coming from your brother's room
sorry, gotta grab a soda, I'll be back real soon

You got a hotter older brother (with a tighter leather jacket!)
Track Name: That Kid is Really Something Special
I like Jimmy the best
that kid is really something special.
Track Name: Wait Until Your Father Comes Home
You forgot to do the dishes
you forgot to scrub floor
You forgot who's in control here
Now I'm gonna have to lay down the law!

Wait until your father comes
Wait until your father comes
Wait until your father comes HOME!
Track Name: Time Out: FOREVER
chorus:

I think I've had it up to here.
Go to your room & disappear.
Time out forever!
(forever, forever, forever, forever)
Track Name: I Fucked the Pool Boy
the clothes are folded
the dishes are clean
it's time for another daquiri
(hey-ey)

the tub's been washed
the meatloaf is on
it's time for another double shot

& all my kids have grown
i've got an empty home
i felt so alone
so i fucked the pool boy
Track Name: Hamburger, Help-Her
Hamburger Helper, please help me.
I spilled my spritzer on my recipe!

Hamburger Helper, please help me.
I spilled my spritzer on my recipe!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Track Name: Good Morning, I'm Late.
Good morning, I'm late.
Are you ready to have a baby?
We'll talk about it later, my dear.
I have to go to work.
Track Name: Kmart Underwear Shopping Spree
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
salespaper
in my mailbox
clipping coupons
gonna be a bedroom fox
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
pinstripe
polka dot
cheetah print
why not?
bikini cut
boy shorts
french lace trim
for him
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
5 pairs
4.99
mix & match
for my behind
Track Name: Den Mother
Slicing up the oranges
Packing up the minivan
Sliding up my neckerchief
Gonna get a nice tan
Man, the Scoutmaster's shorts really get me going.

Little Bobby wants to quit,
but I've got to push him.
You're going for your Eagle, buddy,
END OF DISCUSSION.

Rolling up the sleeping bags
Wanna share my bug juice?
Forgot to pack my pup tent.
At least that's my ex-cuse.

My husband's watching football
but he doesn't know the score.
I'm the chocolate
you're the marshmallow.
Now, GIMME S'MORE.

Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Boy, do I need Scouting.
Track Name: Pre-partum Depression
After I had the first baby
I was feeling sad
Now another one's on the way
& I'm already feeling bad

I got the Pre-pre-pre partum depression
(yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I got the Pre-pre-pre partum depression
(yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
I got the Pre-pre-pre partum depression
(yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah yeah)
whoa!
Track Name: My Time of the Month (To Party)
It's my cycle
It's my body
& it's my time of the month to party
Gonna howl at the moon
Gonna get real snotty
cause it's my time of the month
to party!
Track Name: Bleach & Ammonia
I've been scrubbin on my hands & knees'es
But I can't get it out! I can't get it out!
My yellow rubber gloves are ripped to pieces,
but I can't get it out! I can't get it out!

I'm gonna close the door,
bleach & ammonia
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!

Scouring pads & Comet don't cut it.
I can't get it out! I can't get it out!
I just had my mind, now where did I put it?
I can't get it out! I can't get it out!

I'm gonna close the door,
bleach & ammonia
I can't get it out!
I can't get it out!
I can't get out!
I can't get out!

OUT, DAMN SPOT!
OUT, DAMN SPOT!
OUT, DAMN SPOT!
Track Name: Date Night, Knife Fight (ROM COM MOM)
Date night, knife fight
For just one evening let's get along.
Date night, knife fight
You probably don't think you did anything wrong.

Rom Com Mom,
I model my life after Jennifer Aniston.
Rom Com Mom,
I model my life after Jennifer Aniston.
Track Name: Mother Daughter Cops
You're not my daughter!
You're not my mother!
I really am,
but we're under cover.

We're mother daughter cops!
mother daughter cops!
mother daughter cops!
& we're gonna catch your pops,
cause we're mother daughter cops!
Track Name: Break Time, Glass of Wine
I've been scrubbing the toilet
for half an hour.
The sink's all grubby
& so is the shower,

But: break time!
Glass of wine!

I'm quiet
at the PTA meeting.
My energy is drained
& my confidence is fleeting.

But: break time!
Glass of wine!

I'm not getting any younger
I'm not getting any thinner
my husband's almost home
& I haven't started dinner,

But: break time!
Glass of wine!
Track Name: F.I.L.F.
Let's get filthy!
Let's get F.I.L.F.Y!
Track Name: Mama's Night
It's daddy's turn to take the kids tonight.
I'm gonna use my vibrator to unwind.
Tonight it's Mama's night.

I'll call my girlfriends on the telephone.
I'm gonna watch my favorite TV shows.
Tonight it's Mama's night.

I'm sick of helping those little dummies
with their math.
If I wanted something to love me,
I should have bought a cat.

I might not have a man to love,
but at least I have Tuesdays off.
Tonight it's Mama's night.